You’ve probably heard the term “amicable divorce” more than a few times throughout your life. “Amicable” is a word that often appears in news stories when celebrity couples decide to break up.
But there’s quite a gulf between the idea of a peaceful dissolution of marriage and the reality of divorce, a life event that often brings feelings of guilt, fear, anger, and recrimination.
Maybe you’re going through a divorce, or on the brink of one, and don’t want to arrive at a place where you and your spouse exhaust your financial and emotional resources and end up hating each other.
It doesn’t have to be that way. An amicable divorce is possible, if you and your partner make the right choices for how to proceed.
1. Focus on the future
Your chances of having an amicable divorce will vanish if you begin the process by fixating on the past and who did what to cause the marriage to collapse. Instead, focus on the future, without worrying about who’s at fault, and you’ll have a better chance at having an amicable break-up.
2. Remember the big picture
If you want an amicable divorce, you’re going to learn how to pick your battles. Fighting over smaller issues can end up turning a peaceful process into an adversarial one.
Focus on the big picture: the things that are truly important to you, and you’ll have a better chance of reaching an agreement you can live with.
3. Put the kids first
You and your ex may not be a couple anymore, but they’re still the mother/father of your child. The decisions you make during this time should always put your children first. Try to arrive at a solution that works best for them, one which takes care of them financially and gives them as much time as possible with both parents.
4. Be upfront about your finances
One of the easiest ways to derail what could have been an amicable divorce is to be less-than-forthcoming about your finances. By engaging in good-faith negotiations and divulging all your assets, debts, income, bank info, etc., you’ll be able to give your ex-spouse a clear picture of what issues you need to address as you move forward.
5. Handle things outside of court
Working solely through lawyers and courtroom proceedings can turn a divorce from amicable to acrimonious. Instead of getting lawyers involved, sometimes it is best to handle things outside of court.
Your divorce doesn’t have to feel like a battle. The divorce attorneys at Penglase & Benson can make the process much easier. We’ve spent decades working with people like you on contested and uncontested, amicable divorce cases alike and can help ensure you reach an outcome that protects your family. Contact us today to learn more.
